We've all heard it. We've all looked to see it, and we’ve all felt the despair and helplessness of parents when their children act up in church.

What’s a parent to do? Jesus gives us the perfect answer. “People were bringing little children to Jesus to have Him touch them, but the disciples scolded them. When Jesus saw this, He was indignant. He said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these’" (Mark 10: 13-14).

It’s hard, I know! In the mid-eighties God blessed us through our adoption of a newborn baby, Jared. It had taken us eight years to adopt a child. What a joy and blessing he was (and still is) in our lives! We had just joined a new church. In most churches that we had attended in the past, people with small children usually sat towards the back. We did just that.

Every time our precious new baby made a peep, heads turned, and faces scowled. He was not old enough to scold or to be quieted by reading a book. We felt about two feet tall each week after the services.

I approached our pastor and asked him if we could bring back the nursery. I could see that at some point there had been a nursery for young children set up in the Sunday School area. It seemed like the only way to keep the peace.

He asked me, “Why?” I explained that Jared’s coos, whimpers and baby noises were irritating the other members, as they continually turned around to see who was making those noises and they were not smiling. He remarked. “Let them look! It is far better that you have Jared in church than all the looks and remarks anyone could make.” Jesus’ words in Mark’s Gospel rang out in my head... “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them.”

That was all I had to hear. I realized that Jesus does not want us to "hinder the children" and we should not let the children hinder us from bringing them to church. From that Sunday on we sat in the pew, baby in tow, and never gave a second thought to what someone might be thinking. And Jared learned, over time, how to sit in church. Of course, if Jared’s crying made it hard to hear the pastor, we would take him out until he settled down.

Today, when I hear a fussy child and see the frustration on a parents’ faces, I approach them with my story. I emphasize the importance of their children’s presence in church. Children need to be participants in the service by singing, standing, and folding their hands in prayer. This is the best way to learn the liturgy and hymns and to take part in the church service. As baptized children of God they also need to worship Jesus.

But wait! That is fine if your child has had the opportunity to learn from a young age. What about new families who have just recently heard the Good News of salvation? Their children may not know how they are supposed to act in church. What then?

There are several ways to help.

1. Be Consistent.

   Attend church regularly. It is not fair for them to be expected to sit properly if they come only a few times a year. You have to work some Sundays? Ask for help! In our congregation, we have members who willingly pick up children for Sunday School and Worship Services.

2. Set a Quiet Example.

   If you are louder than your children when you try to quiet them down, they will not understand how to sit nicely. Try to keep this as positive as you can. We do not want the children to associate church with being yelled at each week. If you must discipline an older child, select a private setting, such as at home. Most places inside the church are not sound-proof.

3. Practice at Home.

   Set up a few chairs in your living room to resemble a few rows of pews. Practice whispering. Get a devotion book for young children and read to them. Teach them to sit still until the devotion is done.. Get them excited about church. Attending church should not be a war of wills.

Your children, too, can profit from the service. Together you and your child will be listening to God’s Word, singing the hymns and praying to God. If your child gets antsy in church encourage him/her to watch the pastor when he is preaching, listen to the choir while they sing, look at the stained glass windows, or read the banners. Let this be a joyful time of worshiping God. Jesus wants you and your children to come to Him so that He might bless the whole family with His grace.

Everyone is welcome!!!

Stephanie Wentzlaff is the wife of Lawrence Wentzlaff, pastor of Family of God Lutheran Church in Fort Mohave, Arizona.