Answer: As God’s children, we shouldn’t automatically assume that asking “Why me?” is wrong or sinful. The attitude behind the question will more likely determine if there is sin involved in asking it. We could basically think of two different approaches when asking the question.

1. “Why me?” could be more of an accusatory statement aimed at God, rather than a sincere question. In that case, it would be accusing God of a mistake in allowing some problem to confront us. It would also probably carry with it a certain amount of sinful self-righteousness, which would assume that I am at least too good a person to “deserve” such terrible treatment. It’s not hard to picture the Pharisee who prayed at the temple near the tax-collector (Luke 18: 9–12) having such feelings whenever life threw him a curve.
2. “Why me?” could also be asked with an earnest desire to gain godly wisdom, to know how to make the most of a trying situation. “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5). Submission to what God allows to happen in our lives is a good attitude. However, we can do more than just “put up with” the problems we have in life. We can seek to bring glory to God even with our problems. (cf. St. Paul with his “thorn in the flesh,” (2 Corinthians 12: 8,9). Because we want God to be glorified with whatever our reaction is, asking “Why me?” can be simply another way of praying this prayer which St. James recommends in his epistle.

This question —“Why me?”— highlights one key difference between Lutheran theology and general protestant theology. Today’s Protestantism places a heavy emphasis on the sovereignty of God. Protestant theology can be quite happy concluding on the basis of a verse like “Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him” (Psalm 115:3) that God does what He does “just because He can.” That doesn’t necessarily give us a very heartwarming picture of God, however. It is certainly true that God is sovereign, that is, that He has full and absolute control over all things. His power and authority cannot be successfully challenged. But while Lutheran theology doesn’t deny this sovereignty, neither does it emphasize it. Instead, we emphasize God’s grace to us in Christ. We don’t see our Lord first and foremost as an unchallengeable source of phenomenal power never to be approached. We see Him as a God of love and forgiveness who would rather dispense grace, and who just happens to use immeasurable power to make that happen. This biblical approach to knowing our triune God makes it a little easier to ask “Why me?” in the second sense noted above. If we assume that grace underlies all that God does, it’s much easier to picture trials in life having a good reason behind them.

It is not sinful in and of itself to ponder the ways of God, although we’ll need to be ready to admit that “[His] ways are higher than our ways and [His] thoughts than our thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9). But we would do well to remember when we feel like asking “Why me?” in the first sense mentioned above, that it is just as appropriate, if not more appropriate, to ask “Why not me?” Then, in an appropriately humble frame of mind, we can follow up by asking “Why me?” in the second sense, and seek ways to serve God in our distress.

Paul Zager is pastor of Holton Lutheran Church in Holton, Michigan and a member of the ELS Doctrine Committee.